Hey, Byul-a. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? I don’t think I’ve spoken to you since I was… eight? Maybe nine? I wonder if you grew up without me, or if you’re still the same age. A part of me hopes you’re still little. Maybe you hold a little piece of my younger soul. A little bit of that innocence can live on.
A lot has happened. A lot has changed. I grew up. Graduated college. Got a job. Life… is life, I suppose. Being an adult isn’t all I thought it would be. But it’s better than high school. It would’ve been nice to have a friend like you then.
Were you there? Watching? Did you see everything that happened? All the times I cried alone, here, in the dark. Were you there? I wish you had a tangible form. I think you would’ve given really good hugs. Umma says her favorite word is bodeumda. It’s like a hug, but somehow more. Like a really good, comforting, solid embrace. Like a mother to a child. I can’t remember the last time she hugged me. But you, I think you would have given those kinds of hugs.
I’m moving out now. I got an apartment with Seol-a. Do you remember her? I probably told you about her. She’s still just as pretty. Even prettier, actually. I never told my parents. They don’t know. They might never know. To them, we’re just friends. It’s for the better, I suppose. But I can tell you. You’re my creation. So you can’t be cruel like my parents can be sometimes. It’s scary how the way we view our parents can change so much. Scary how quickly our parents can become frightening. Scary how little I feel like I can share with them now. Scary how quickly the world changes from an adventure to a nightmare.
I never really said goodbye to you, did I? I just kind of moved on. That’s the sad thing about friendships, isn’t it? Real and imaginary. We don’t really ever say bye, they just drift away so slowly that we don’t even notice they’re leaving until we turn and they’re not there anymore.
I wanted to say goodbye. A real goodbye. I don’t know what happens to imaginary friends when we say bye. I hope you find another friend. I know you’ll make them as happy as you made me.
Goodbye, Byul-a.
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