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i'm not insane

(just a little fucked in the head)


hold me, choke me,

set me on fire and watch me

burn. use me, break me, own

me, i’ll be yours

as long as you want me.

do whatever you want,

do your worst. hit me,

curse me, make me cry. if

it’ll make you stay, i’ll give you

all my tears, you can have every

breath, all of me, it’s okay.

i’m okay. i’ll be

okay.

i’m not okay.


what do you want? i’ll do it,

i’ll do anything, i’ll give you

anything,

everything,

whatever you want.

you can drag me into

hell, i’d give up wings

for you to stay.

i already gave up my heart.


i know you’re bad

for me, i don’t care.

if you want me, you

have me. i see your horns,

i’ll offer you a halo.

is it enough? i don’t think

anything would be enough

for you. but i’ll stay.

i can’t leave.


i’ll be your toy, your doll,

your little housepet. a word,

a touch, the smallest scrap of

love is enough.

it doesn’t even have to be

love, i’ll take imitations.

dress up love in

silks or sackcloth, pretty words

wrapped in curses, hugs

after hits, give me flowers or

make bruises bloom

around my neck. i’ll do tricks

if you give me treats, i’ll roll over

and beg, what for,

i’m not sure.

i don’t know what love is.


i need it, i need you, i need

someone. i need love

more than water,

more than air, more than

life. i’ll jump into the sea,

your cuffs on my wrists and

i don’t care if i drown.

what is a life without

love,

what is life without ever being

wanted?

hell


it scares me, how badly

i need this, it burns

but i’ve always run

cold, you laugh

as i crumble to ash and

even the smoke clings

to your clothes.

i can’t hear myself

scream, why

does love only feel real when

it hurts, why do i only feel

loved

when it hurts? i’ll keep playing

with fire, if i die

then at least i’ll die warm.

i died a long time ago.

 

a fun little preview for the topic of this week's bubble article! this one was a ton of fun to write; i wrote it a few weeks ago and it was very cathartic and i liked playing around with the love elements and turning them on their head. i hope you like it too! the title is supposed to be "i’m not insane (just a little fucked in the head)" but unfortunately i cannot do strikethroughs in a title.

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