(just a little fucked in the head)
hold me, choke me,
set me on fire and watch me
burn. use me, break me, own
me, i’ll be yours
as long as you want me.
do whatever you want,
do your worst. hit me,
curse me, make me cry. if
it’ll make you stay, i’ll give you
all my tears, you can have every
breath, all of me, it’s okay.
i’m okay. i’ll be
okay.
i’m not okay.
what do you want? i’ll do it,
i’ll do anything, i’ll give you
anything,
everything,
whatever you want.
you can drag me into
hell, i’d give up wings
for you to stay.
i already gave up my heart.
i know you’re bad
for me, i don’t care.
if you want me, you
have me. i see your horns,
i’ll offer you a halo.
is it enough? i don’t think
anything would be enough
for you. but i’ll stay.
i can’t leave.
i’ll be your toy, your doll,
your little housepet. a word,
a touch, the smallest scrap of
love is enough.
it doesn’t even have to be
love, i’ll take imitations.
dress up love in
silks or sackcloth, pretty words
wrapped in curses, hugs
after hits, give me flowers or
make bruises bloom
around my neck. i’ll do tricks
if you give me treats, i’ll roll over
and beg, what for,
i’m not sure.
i don’t know what love is.
i need it, i need you, i need
someone. i need love
more than water,
more than air, more than
life. i’ll jump into the sea,
your cuffs on my wrists and
i don’t care if i drown.
what is a life without
love,
what is life without ever being
wanted?
hell
it scares me, how badly
i need this, it burns
but i’ve always run
cold, you laugh
as i crumble to ash and
even the smoke clings
to your clothes.
i can’t hear myself
scream, why
does love only feel real when
it hurts, why do i only feel
loved
when it hurts? i’ll keep playing
with fire, if i die
then at least i’ll die warm.
i died a long time ago.
a fun little preview for the topic of this week's bubble article! this one was a ton of fun to write; i wrote it a few weeks ago and it was very cathartic and i liked playing around with the love elements and turning them on their head. i hope you like it too! the title is supposed to be "i’m not insane (just a little fucked in the head)" but unfortunately i cannot do strikethroughs in a title.
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